Sooooo...

I told myself I wouldn't make any new projects until Nano, but uh... I guess when you're depressed and in your feels, you can't help but want to find a way to express yourself and your feelings.

This story is about my experience going to the hospital to see my dad. In June, he went to the hospital after experiencing numbness in his arm and chest pains. When I woke up that morning, I was wondering where my dad had gone. That's when I was told the news.

It was something I couldn't process. My dad...in a hospital? It was a foreign concept to me.

We found out a day or two later that all four of his heart valves were blocked: one completely while the remaining three were partially blocked. He was scheduled for open heart surgery later in the week. I saw my Dad the day before his surgery and he was...happy. It was weird. But I could tell he was worried, putting on a show. On top of that, just seeing him in a hospital gown with the impending surgery was...anxiety-inducing. My Dad's  65 and overweight, I was scared of what could happen or he was going to have complications post-op.

That's when he told me to remain strong, just like how I've always been.

So...I tried to be. I worked on Candied Hearts and tried to talk to my friends so I could forget reality, so I could ignore the nagging thoughts in my head.

After his surgery, my Mom wanted me to visit him. I knew I couldn't. I wasn't mentally prepared to see my Dad post-op. But she insisted and wanted me to be there for her so...I went.

Seeing my Dad hooked up to so many tubes is something I could never forget, even thinking about it now makes me cry.

For a while, I wanted to tell this story so I could let it all go. So, here it is.

I know it's not polished, or probably even that good. It's my first attempt at Twine and it shows. But I'm not sure if I care. I'm just happy that I finally let my feelings be known.

Sorry for this sad devlog. I promise to write happier and more chaotic ones in the future.